Here is a familiar scenario if you have ever raised or been around toddlers. They are playing, having a blast, and bam! Wipe out! They bump their head or their knee, you make a sharp inhale and then there is a 1 second period that feels like an eternity. You are looking at them to see how they react. They are looking at you to see how you react. You have a choice.
Option 1 is to say “Oh my goodness you poor thing did that hurt? Are you okay? That was such a bad fall!” If you go with option 1 that kid is going to have an epic meltdown and it’s going to be a minute before they settle down and get back to playing.
Option 2 is to control your reaction and say “You’re fine you can keep playing”. They’ll look at you for a second, think “oh okay good” and go right back to playing. Keep in mind with option 2 you aren’t denying that their little bump hurt. You are encouraging them to overcome it and not let it derail them.
And now what about us big, brave grown ups? We get booboos too but they look a little different. When it comes to health, fitness, and the overall weight loss journey, a booboo looks like a missed workout that cascaded into an off week that turned into an off month. You’re frustrated at yourself for your lost momentum and for paying for a gym you haven’t gone to. It’s a common scenario. Probably the most common. I coach my clients that they can expect a derailing experience at least once or twice a year. When you turn a new leaf and “this time will be different” hitting a speed bump from time to time isn’t going to change; your reaction in that scenario is what is different.
At On Target Fitness, we don’t just collect your money while you don’t show up month after month. If you haven’t worked out in more than a week you can expect to hear from us. You won’t stop hearing from us until you get back on our schedule and get back in the gym. That is the personal, in personal training.
Much like that scenario with the kiddo, these conversations with clients can go one of two ways. You definitely have a booboo if you haven’t worked out in a while, and it is perfectly natural to feel frustrated. Option 1 is a conversation where you give me all the reasons why you haven’t been in and why things are so so hard for you right now. I’m a sympathetic person, I don’t think these are made up, empty excuses. They are real. But that said this conversation is the equivalent of freaking out, fawning over the kid, and causing a meltdown. Listing the reasons why you have it so hard will only point your brain towards reasons you can’t workout. It also doesn’t exactly make you feel better about yourself. Deep down you know lots of people have it worse than you and your “poor me” story makes you feel a little smaller each time you tell it. If I engage in that conversation I’m not being empathetic, I’m enabling behavior that is ultimately self destructive.
Option 2 looks more like this: “It’s okay to be frustrated right now. These things happen. Shake it off, let’s get you on the schedule this week, and you’ll feel a lot better”. That’s it! It is okay to get derailed. Just get back on track. The more you do that the better you will be. It’s okay for life to get a little bonkers every once in a while. That skill of getting back on track will serve you well in all sorts of ways outside of fitness. Smooth seas don’t make skilled sailors.
When you feel off track, overwhelmed, and frustrated, skip the personal pity party and do the simplest thing you can do to get momentum in the right direction again. It is usually as simple as booking your next workout. It takes a few seconds and it immediately makes you feel back in the drivers seat.
